Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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