New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
