I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
