She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
