Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the day after is always just damage control
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
