i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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