if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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