was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
