Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
