it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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