dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
