I just threw up on my dentist
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i think my cat just said my name.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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