u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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