someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
