I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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