The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
