I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
