Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
