He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
