I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
