I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My life is pants optional.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
