I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
