make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
