Kiss
Puke
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
