i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize