I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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