Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
