Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
