I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize