She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
