i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
