yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
