did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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