youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
