My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
