Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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