And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
