this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
