butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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