There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
