It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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