Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
