im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
