Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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