just come out here and I will go home with you...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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