Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
