Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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