i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
