That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
