Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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