Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
