I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
