there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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